“I’ll declare you dead. That way I won’t long for you”.
Thank you for that Dr. Maya Angelou. It’s a perfect way to handle heartbreak. As she handled the heartbreak of being discarded by her parents. I am using that as a way to deal with the disappointment of me being discarded by someone I loved and cared about immensely. It’s the best way to deal with not crying over spilled milk.
I saw a screening of a short film about her: Still I Rise, at the Schomburg Center on Thursday night. Hillary and Bill Clinton were there. The crowd stood as they applauded them. I sat, because while I respect Hillary as a woman who tried and was more than qualified for a job, but still got dragged through the mud over petty shit, and lost to a boy–toddler with no qualifications, who is also a child rapist and violator of women, she still participated in some of the worst racism against Black people; and her husband was the ring master. It was interesting to me trying to figure out what were the individual reasons that each person stood and applauded these two.
And as I sat watching the movie and saw that Bill and Hillary were close friends with Maya Angelou, it dawned on me the nerve of White people. It’s as if, no matter how many Black friends they have who are even leaders in their communities and understand the struggle of Black people, they will still tear us down without any regard. This is why it really doesn’t matter if you are married to someone Black, you can still be, and actively participate in the action that is racism. Because unfortunately when you have a mental block, no matter how much exposure you have to a group of people that look different from you, and may do things different from you, there will always be something within your psyche that convinces you that they are lesser and in need of your disregard, disrespect and dismantling their human existence.
They sat there, mere rows away from where my friend and I sat. I thought it was impressive that they sat among us civilians. But I wasn’t about to stand for them. I am actively against celebrating White people who participate in the destruction of Black people, our families, our communities and our existence. Until I see an active change in how people like Hillary and Bill deal with Blacks; their active participation in getting us reunited with our families, helping to change the discourse about our communities, and assisting in Black communities receive opportunities not typically afforded to us because of our skin color, I cannot stand for them.
While I understand Bill has issued an apology and acknowledged his wrong-doing, I. Don’t. Care. Sorry is not enough. It’s like hearing a rapist say they’re sorry. How does that help when they are free to rape anyway? I want to see an active role in ending the cycle of abuse. One act of kindness isn’t enough. Bill Clinton’s policies ’til this day still actively participates in racism. Until he and Hillary implement an action that changes this, and many other racist dynamics against Blacks and POC, I will not stand for them. I will acknowlege that Hillary, even being White and the former FLOTUS still couldnt’ escape patriarchy and misogny.
And on Dr. Maya Angelou, I could only hope that my life will be as aspiring as yours. I could only hope that my words could move people and live with them as long as yours have. But even with your power, inspiration and genius, that energy couldn’t stop White people from practicing common Whiteness.
This post was actually only supposed to be a few lines. But then as I started to write, I realized there was far more to be said.