A heaux goes to the dentist

I know what you’re thinking. Heaux don’t go to the dentist.

I assure you those of us who care for our teeth do. Because heaux have teeth. And if we are to suck your dick or kiss you we don’t want to infect you with bacteria from our mouth. It’s the honorable thing to do.

Last year I had a root canal. And when the the filling fell out, between my traveling and the craazy things that were happening in my life, I failed to get a crown put in. And also, crowns are effing expensive. And since I hardly had time or space to make a living, it went undone. Today, I need to have the tooth pulled and an implant into my face. And as you can imagine, that shit is gonna cost money. Cause I do not do Kings County hospital dentists, and the dental school has a phone answering problem; I always end up at the private practice. Let me tell you, the root canal last year was a whopping $2500.

Fast forward to this past week where I went to a dentist different from whom I saw last year. It’s a long story of funds, shame and embarrassment, why I was reluctant to go back. Anyway I found a dentist off Groupon. As I often do to see if I want to spend money at a private practice. These dentist who were quite nice, but didn’t quite give me the experience as my last dentist, referred me to the specialist because as the x-ray technician put it, things didn’t look good. I know I broke off a piece of that darn root canal tooth, but cut me a break! 2016 was hard!

I finally make it to the specialist. I am optimistic though I know the pain I have been feeling in the tooth was quite similar to what I felt last year before it was root canal time. The dentist, who isn’t the specialist, because I fucked up my appointment time and the specialist is only there a couple times a month was not in on this day. I don’t like her. Her bed side manners were…subpar. She had a very New York attitude. And after experiencing the top notch dealings with my last dentist and specialist, this chic needed to take some classes in decorum.

After the bad news, the lady from the front desk steps in the room. Sits in a seat next to me in the chair, blocking me in. I won’t realize what she was doing until after I have left and had time to process this all. She is telling me what I need. I keep asking for prices but I am not getting that information. Instead I am constantly being asked if I want to have my [small] cavity filled today. My questions on pricing and options on what to do about replacing my missing tooth are ignored. She has to go…look…or make a call. But she’s still sitting there, trying to get me to have this cavity filled. But still not telling me how much this fuckin tooth pulling implant shit is going to cost me.

I think it was tears (caused by the gripping reality that this life just won’t let me be) that finally made her move out of the seat. She mad sure to inform me that she is not supposed to let me get up without getting more treatment. Or something of that nature. In other words she was blocking me in my seat to try and force me to spend money.

You know it’s interesting about instincts. I knew on the phone, just by the way the phone lady spoke that I was not crazy about going to this place. But giving them the priority of class because of their upper west side location, I figured, how bad could this shit be? And they were connected to the last dentist I visited. So instead of going to a new dentist and having them finding a reason to put my x-rays in my face, I just sucked it up.

Suppose this woman triggered some past memory in me and I punched her in her face? How dare her block me in on some kidnapping fantasy to try and get me to buy dental services. This is the way a business has to operate in 201 when they are in an affluent neighborhood? What is this aggressive sales tactic? How do they not know that the people they do that to don’t have more pressing things to take care of than fixing their teeth?

At the end of the day they gave me a good payment plan option for when I return. A plan I will not oblige as I will not return to that office. To try and force someone, anyone, to have services when they are saying to you, they cannot have any other treatment today is a sign that these are people that need to not be working on my mouth.

How dare them.

I feel pity on the poor unsuspecting person that sits in that chair. Just wanting to get an exam and figure out their moves later. But will be forced to spill out money because the greedy and impatient dental office has to have the money, now! My stress tears saved me from spending money I literally didn’t have in my pocket that day. As I had already spent my storage bill money to deal with this tooth issue for this visit.

If I could do it again, I’d grab her by the throat and move her out my way. I think I’ll just take some of this and write a yelp review instead.



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