A lesson in intimacy

Lessons Learned

1. STFU

2. Treat all men with kid gloves, especially when they are bringing you money

3. There’s a myth that sex workers don’t or shouldn’t have feelings.

I’ve got few rules that allow me to do this business successfully and stress-free. One of them is that if I have plans to go somewhere, I live my life and stop letting my work interfere with me living. But on this slow February day I decided to go against the grain because it’s been slow and I really didn’t want to go outside much anyway.

When fully dressed, with the exception of my shoes and socks, ready to head out the door to a kid birthday party (simply because I wanted birthday cake. I LOVE CAKE!) I looked at my phone to see a client I’d been with twice wanted to know if I was available. I was a half hour late with my response but asked what time he was thinking in the hopes that I could go get my cake, return home and have a good ole Sunday evening. To my disappointment, he wanted to meet within the hour. After telling him how he has the worst timing in America and I was really looking forward to cake, I decided (met with much resistance on his part) to wait for him. The money was far more important than the cake. I toyed around with the idea in my head of where I would go to get my cake fix after we were done. Or even call my friend and beg her to save me a slice that I could pick up from the location she was having her daughter’s party.

But a half hour or more of texting back and forth with this fool ruined all plans of anything.

As I said, he was reluctant to meet me. He wanted me to have my cake. But I knew his resolve for us to meet another day, could mean another week, and I wanted and needed that money TODAY. I urged him to come. “I need a neck rub anyway”, I stated. Then it all went downhill from there.

“I’m not paying you to rub your neck.”

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking. He’s right. But let’s analyze this critically the way I had to break it down for him.

You are paying me for a service. The good thing about paying to play is that it teaches men how to deal with women. Not only did his statement hurt my damn feelings, it made me feel a little less human. The experience I provide is not splash and dash. It’s intimacy. I laugh with you, I massage you. I offer you something to drink, the option to take a shower. I am  hospitable, I am kind. I suck your dick. If I were not a woman you were paying to spend time with would you still feel that I didn’t deserve to be touched? If the answer is no, then you have to remember that those who you pay for time are not just illusions.

A part of being intimate with someone is doing things that pleases them or gives them relief. This could be talking, hugging or other forms of mutual touching. From a simple neck rub, (what a selfish prick) to yes, maybe even giving the other person, whom you paid, a massage.

I told him he should come over for a lesson in intimacy. “Come”! I urged him. “I will suck your dick and you won’t even get to touch my hair”. He couldn’t understand my logic. Because, you asshole! You just told me that you were not paying me to touch me. He rephrased. “I am not paying you to give you a massage.”

See he still didn’t get the point. So I went on to explain.

Since I am just an illusion, come and fuck me. Bend me over. Don’t touch me. And while you are at it, don’t do anything that will please me in anyway. Don’t go faster, don’t even suck my tits. Just pretend I’m not really there and fuck me, cause from where you stand you are just fucking yourself.

In my mind I was going to have a field day with this. It would be such a new emotion for him that he may not know what to do with himself. It would be like my domination clients whom I punish by not allowing them to touch me or even cum.

A few more lines of text went on, where I assured him that I don’t really exist for mutual pleasure, just so he can use me as an empty vessel. Because if I am in the bedroom with someone and they don’t feel that they can do anything to bring me pleasure because THEY ARE PAYING ME, then by all means; keep your hands to yourself, and let me do all the work.

I was turned off by him and hurt. But I was still willing to ball up my feelings and see him. Pretending that (him assuring me that because he pays me I shouldn’t have wants and needs), I was not phased. I would just there for his pleasure, and everything was going to be his call.

“Just give me ten minutes to straighten up my room. And five minutes to go in robot mode. Are you coming”?  I asked.

After a little silence, he replied. “No. go enjoy your cake”.

An epic waste of time! After I had finally made up my mind that I was going to stay home. At that moment, I realized that most men are sensitive little bitches who have no backbone to give you back some banter. They cannot take a challenge. It was too much for him, and he backed out.

“You know”, I said in what would be my final text to him. “This is exactly why when I have some place to go I usually decline work. You take care”, I added. And then I blocked him forever.

Treat your providers like humans because they are. Intimacy is nothing to be afraid of. You are paying for an experience. The experience I give is love. And if that’s not what you want to give, find another provider. #anotheronebitesthedust

BH

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