This is particularly aimed at men.
When you are having sex with someone, other than yourself, keep in mind that you are actually not having sex with yourself.
When you do something during sex, and the person moves your hand or says “Stop. I don’t like that.” It actually means they want you to stop because they don’t like it. Why is it everytime I’m having sex with someone and they do something just dumb like start to massage the crack of my butt and I move their hand, they then push my hand away and insist on doing the thing I just moved their hand away from.
My body is not your body. When I decide to have sex with you I’m under the impression that you will respect my boundaries. Paying me or not, you are not just going to do what you want with me when you want to. And some of the things some of you want to do are just so ridiculous. Who rubs on someone’s butt crack anyway. What are you getting out of that? Who told you that felt good? Next time you want to do some dumb shit on someone’s body, just ask. Not everyone is the same. What one person may have enjoyed or allowed you to do, is not what the next person is going to enjoy or allow you to do.
Remember when another person is involved in the sexual exchange, it means you may have to actually behave like they are there. With their own mind, likes and dislikes, and other things you have to consider that are not selfish and self preserving. Give it a try. Have sex with someone and acknowledge the things they tell you. Good grief.