Some women kill me. Trying to hold on to their chastity like some ignorant child who doesn’t know better. It’s real out here in the world. And the world is cold, harsh and lonely. Of course some of us have a thriving life where we are constantly surrounded by friends, have a great support system and even an envious career. But let’s get real, most of the world struggles to make ends meet. We all wish we could hit the lotto, and many of us would rather not have to worry about how we are going to pay bills or put food on the table.
One of the many things a woman has over say, a man, is her womanly parts. Particularly if she is beautiful, shapely and youthful. Of course our brains and employable skills are very important and we should never discount that. But when do we wake up from our dream of getting far only using part of our brain, when we were blessed with our womanly essence to help us get there.
Let me explain. First and foremost, to use ones sexuality or to know the importance and impact it may have on your overall well being, takes intelligence. In other words you are using your brain. Secondly, I remember once when I was going through some courtroom drama, one of the court officers there (whom I had sexual engagements with for a short time) told me when he saw my distress, use your womanly gifts to get ahead. Use that power to get a lawyer and win this fight. Young and naive I didn’t listen. Cause of course, I shouldn’t have to use my sexuality to get anything. I can get it all by being honest, hard working and smart. That eventually didn’t work. Instead my sexuality was used against me. The court saw me as being too sexy to be trustworthy, honest, smart or capable of making logical decisions for my family. (That is for another story).
I have a cousin, a couple of them actually, who are struggling. One lives at home with mom well into her 20s. Working a dead end job. A beautiful girl who walks into a room and jaws are on the floor. Why when I saw her in person after not seeing her since she was a child, I couldn’t believe how down right beautiful she was. Heart shaped ass, flat stomach, firm breasts. A smooth dark complexion, with a coca-cola bottle shape. Men not only wanted her, but wanted to take care of her. Wanted to marry her. This is extraordinary. Because men wanting you does not always equate to them seeing you as someone they could actually be with and take care of.
Another cousin, blessed with a derriere that many women today have to inject foreign substances in their body to get. She wants a job. A good job. But the first thing that she needs to understand is that in this shallow world, an ass that size is likely to work against her. I have no time to go into the stereotyping of Black female bodies, but if you know about it, you know why that ass is a bad thing in some work places.
To both my cousins I pushed the idea of working at a strip club to them. But both of them with their christian upbringing and young ideals, seem to believe this is not a good idea. When I went to the strip clubs in Atlanta and saw the unbelievable success of the strippers in those clubs, my mind was blown! Why would any woman living in this very real and lonely world, struggling financially would not use her brain and the body she was blessed with to get ahead??? Social conditioning.
Fast forward to an acquaintance of mine telling me that a man offered her $20,000 to have sex with her, and she said no. I asked her if she was crazy. Because clearly she was right? Every pussy has a price, right? I mean women have sex with men for far less. Wining and dining, or no wining and dining. A walk in the park, or for some, not even a return phone call. So why is it that a man can offer you so much money and you say, NO? I wondered had this bitch bumped her head? You run around the city to make ends meet with fleeting gigs and someone offers you 2 years rent and you say no? Turns out the offer wasn’t real (long story) but that’s besides the point.
The point is how long does it take for you to realize that the dreams and lies you have been programmed to believe as a child are just that, dreams and lies? When do you wake up and realize that you no longer want to struggle and that there is more than one way to be successful, and sometimes that means using sexuality. When do you wake up and realize, that in this selfish world, your far fetched idea of what it is to be successful will never be obtained with your mundane fantasies of some dream job? There are women out there living your fantasized life because they were smart enough to know that using sexuality to garner financial wealth which in turns helps them in other ways, is neither weak or dirty.
Recently I watched a post on facebook, where a friend of mine said that she realizes that to get to the next level using her brain alone isn’t working. “Should I flirt my way to the top?” She asked, and of course the puritans step in, steering her away from this idea. I for one encouraged her to use all her powers, and it was met with disbelief. But why? I am pretty sure that if men were viewed like women in this country, this world, and could had the amount of sexual power that we hold, they would use it to their advantage. So why do women keep insisting that his is a bad thing that they should shy away from?
You must be out of your mind to turn down financial stability because it’s having sex or using sex to get to where you want to be. How many men do you have sex with where the most you’ve gotten was a ride to the grocery store?
Let me be clear. I am not discounting anyone for wanting to use their brain and skills to get to the top. I am however questioning their judgment when that is clearly not working for them, and chances are it never will. Most of those poor and struggling will likely remain so for the rest of our lives, that’s just how things are. Unless the distribution of wealth changes dramatically in this country and this world, the way our lives are now will likely remain so or close to it for the rest of our lives. So what is wrong with using the one way in which women particularly can get ahead, and earn more money than men?
Strippers work HARD. I never want to be one again, because that is how hard they work. Heels all night, customer service, spinning on poles, thongs up your ass, hair, make-up, dancing ALL NIGHT! Interpersonal skills, many times dealing with shitty management, negotiation skills, I can go on. Bottom Line is there is nothing wrong with being a stripper. And depending on the establishment that employs you, they will not allow disrespect of their dancers from the customers. It’s neither degrading nor is it a dishonest living. To hear my cousin tell it, they don’t live a stripper lifestyle. I had to ask what was that suppose to mean? Every stripper I know has bills, rent or mortgage; maybe a kid or a few to take care of. Sometimes they are paying for school, and even trying to care for other family members, so I’m not sure what “lifestyle” she was referring to. Just like her, trying to dig herself out the rabbit hole, some strippers are able to do this easily with their financial gains they EARN working at the club.
And to the women that can’t have sex with a man for money, you are a special breed of creature. I mean surely I do respect that some pussies set limits. Some limits are out of this world unrealistic, and bitch no one will ever offer or pay you that much. But then there are others who get an unbelievable offer and turn it down as if they will ever see that kind of money in any other facet of their life.
I’m not saying that anyone should do things they are not comfortable with to get money. But let’s get real. You already have or having sex A) With a loser. B) For far less than the hundreds and even thousands you may have been offered. C) Have done far more shameful things for money, that not even the sleaziest of whores could respect.
My bottom line is to grow up. Life is hard, don’t make it harder by being a puritan idealist. Sexuality and sex is not something to be shameful of using. Those that tell you to tone it down are the ones that will use it to make their lives better when or if given the opportunity. You owe it to your life to live as stress free as possible. Don’t get to big for your own bridges. Get real and wake up! If you are made an astounding offer take it! There are far more shameful things in life that you could be doing. Sexuality should never be considered one of them.