Client etiquette: Stop asking for personal info and more

It baffles me, yes it does. The nerve on you all. Well, the ones that come in and think they are entitled to information that even people I actually know are not entitled to.

After my rather, interesting session a client asked; and I knew where he was going with it as soon as he began. And I began to figuratively roll my eyes and sigh in frustration: “So, the number I called you on is that your personal number or business number?”

Say personal number! SAY, PERSONAL NUMBER! But wtf for?

Business number.

“So can I have your personal number?”

WTF. Nigga you just met me, for a business transaction. Wtf you want my social security number too?

A nice response I’ve learned from a male worker: ” You know, I have very few rules in order to continue in this business. One of those rules is that I don’t give out my personal number. It’s connected to my legal name.” That last line was all me, but I’m realizing now totally unnecessary.

Then…”You didn’t tell me your name.”

It was actually in the fucking advertisement.

I say it. Then he gives me a code name for him, although he’d told me his name twice and I remember it, but whatever. “That’s how I’ll save you in my phone.”

Then: Because of my enjoyment of our time and me admitting I needed the interaction, the offer to be my personal gigolo if I need a fix. Right. Because I don’t want to get paid for my work because I enjoy it and needed it. I’m sure doctors enjoy their work and need patients in order to stay in business. Should they start seeing you for free too? How about the entertainers? Go ahead ask Justin Timberlake if he should work for free because he loves his work and needs to be on the stage. Fuck. Out. Of here.

Then later that night with someone else…

Another request for my name. WTF is it with you people anyway??

I tell him.

“But that’s a color.”

So is Violet and Blue, but it’s also a name. And that is my name.

Here’s a clue to the future patrons of any service where code names are allowed. Strip clubs, live performances, urban wrestling leagues. Mind your fuckin business.

Accept that the name you receive is just the name. It’s what they go by, what they respond to, what you are told. Accept and let go of your need to dig deeper. Unless you are asking to write a rent check, to pay off a student loan or to pay a utility bill it’s truly none of your business what is on someone’s birth certificate. You are being intrusive and moreso quite annoying. We want to conduct our trade, no matter what it is, using the name that we have picked out for whatever reason. Mind your business.

Ask yourself are you dating this person? Have children with them? About to marry them? About to pay one of the bills mentioned above or help them co-sign on a house or loan? If the answer is no, then you need to let go of your ego, need to know, and be happy with the time you’ve spent and the time you may receive in the future.

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1 Response to Client etiquette: Stop asking for personal info and more

  1. Hey, I’m a Jamaican reporter living in NY and I’m writing an article on racism in the industry and the stripperstrike. I read your post and would like to talk to you more about your experience. I think the system is messed up and reflective of oppressive racial dynamics in America. If you’re open to it shoot me an email at or let me know the best way to get in touch.

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