Fact: Heaux are people.
People who bleed and hurt and cry. It’s probably some ignorant belief that if you are a heaux you are not worthy of feelings and can no longer feel like normal humans do. But the truth is that being a heaux changes none of those basic human emotions that mere mortals possess. Deep inside all that heauxdom, we still bleed of blue.
Why in fact, I am here crying because it seems once again my heart is broken. I met a normal boy, as a normal girl and I thought he liked me. Turns out his interest is elsewhere. Like all the others I suppose. Now I know what you may be thinking; you’re a heaux, no one can truly love you. But that is also hyperbole. Someone loves a heaux all the time. Even a regular guy. Just not the regular guy that I like.
As a heaux I still have fantasies of getting married and having children with some of the Joe Schmoe’s I meet. I fantasize about falling deep in love with them and living happily ever after. It’s not because I sell my body that my innate human qualities have disappeared. I am still here! A living breathing human being, who still cries herself to sleep like a little teen-aged girl who got her heart broken. It’s my sad reality. I have been getting my heart broken for so many years you think I’d get used to it. But it never becomes old. The new tears are always fresh and feel like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
Sometimes I hate men, at least when it comes to this. It’s so much easier to hide behind the money and do my work and send them on their merrily way. At least I know where they stand! With this one I didn’t know where he stood! I don’t want some worthless relationship built off sex, that’s what clients are for! While I’m not sure if he knew I was a heaux (he never asked), I guess maybe he did? I mean he just vanished into thin air and I’m never to hear from him again.
Sure his absence has been rather short (less than two weeks) but that means nothing to me! I’ve experienced this before! I know what rejection feels like! I know what it feels like to be wanted by someone, anyone. A child, a friend, a lover. Not because I’m a heaux I’m stooopid or anything!
But I’ve gotten my revenge. I blocked his number and then deleted his contact information. Good riddens Mr. Tall, Dark, and Missing. You will soon be forgotten, but never how you’ve made me feel.