I neglect y’all too much: my facebook round-up: Digging for gold when there ain’t none

I realize how easy it is to post on facebook, which often has me neglecting to come here and let you in my personal life. so i vow to make sure that if i don’t actually just post here and allow my fb followers to respond via the link, i will just give you the round up of the day or the week.

yesterday was comedy gold. my new lover, who replaced my last one, who was equally a trash box that should be set on fire; called me a gold digger. this is ironic being that the nigga ain’t got no gold. It made me realize that men really need to be set straight on a few things. 1. if you are broke, someone legit can’t take you for your…money. 2. it ain’t trickin if you got it. 3. don’t bitch about womxn digging for gold when you have no problem asking for their pussy.

it should also be noted that the anger at “gold digging” is really you mad as fuck that womnx are asking for what they want. and have the audacity to not want to give you pussy just because you think it’s your birthright.

bitch.

Men. A note: when you are so cheap that the mere act of giving the womxn whom you slept with some cash disturbs you, it shows how little you truly value yourself. y’all are forever trying to project your weak ass insecurities on womxn because your manhood is firmly rooted in how far your erection reaches. you don’t think a womxn deserves more than your dick because your dick is all you got. i wonder if onset erectile dysfunction by the time you turn 40 would influence more of you working at being a better human.

It’s unbelievable how much worth you all put in your dicks and the almighty dollar. a lot of you lose out on such promising relationships because of your focus on your penises and your thin ass wallets. you don’t think womxn are worth more, because you yourself are worth/less. who are you without your erection and something as fickle as money? if that’s where your worth is, you might wanna do some soul diving bro.

womyn: ask for and get what you want from these men. they will toss you out like trash and tell you things like, “i rather do something for you when i want to.” don’t accept that. especially when it’s on the heels of them inviting themselves to your body and time as if they are entitled to it.

i don’t have the energy to post the screenshots of me dragging this nigga by his dry ass dreads and leaving him for dead. i’ll save that for the book. instead here are some highlights of my fb posts where i chatted him up a bit, in order of the most recent post:

Joy is, calling a mofo by his govt when he told you it was something else. Checkmate bitch.

Im just going full on Nefertiti arrogant for 2018. Being nice to potential male mates have proved futile over the past 30 yrs. An overwhelming amount of the male species lacks the courage it takes to be open, loving and honest with themselves. They cant receive love bc of how much toxic fragility is at their core. My foundation is loving, empathetic and compassionate. But i will be damned if i am going to sit and be a continuous dumpster for anyone’s short comings and projections.

Bros, yall need some serious soul diving. You are all relentlessly broken and the energy around you says you dont have to fix it.
But the feminine energy is having its day. And an awkening is taking place. This is why yall are being called out for your sexually inappropriate behaviors. Your day has finally come.

I believe in doing no harm. I believe that love is ultimate goal and if we center ourselves around that idea things can be so peaceful. But for the love of god stop coming for me if i didnt send for you. Im a water sign bitch. And i will drown you. EDIT: since i am on the cusp of water and fire. after i drown you, i will dig up your carcass and burn you. bitch.

“Nigga, i sneeze on dicks for more money than that. Get the fuck off my line”-Akynos

I told old boy to watch his mouf. I just had to lay a nigga out. Why yall negroids dont understand that i am the undisputed champion in how to destroy a man?

Yall. I just got called a gold digger by a nigga with no gold. Can someone tell me where they do that at?????

BH

 

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in whiter than wight news: wight people continue to uphold racism with acts of subtle racist kindness

jordan peele

Get Out is nominated for a Golden Globe as a comedy.

For all you wight allies who claim to be against racism and want to stand with Black people, here is your fuckin chance to do your one good deed of the year. Make such a stink about this that the category in which this drama, documentary, social commentary film which was not a joke, be changed!

I don’t even have much more to say about this outside of my utter disgust at how incompetent wightness is. wightness cannot seem to thrive or survive unless it’s undermining and oppressing everyone else outside of it. y’all sure know how to take jabs at folk while acting as if you are giving them recognition. fuck you.

BH

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Water is wet: Men hate womxn who love themselves: A commentary

Before “selfies” misogynistic men on message boards wld drag me for posting photos of myself. The mere act of self adoration infuriated them. While they wld post photos of womxn they adored, it was against unspoken rules to love myself. They needed to choose me. And in the patriarchy, thats not how things work

https://nypost.com/2017/11/11/the-real-reason-men-hate-women-taking-selfies/

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REVAMPED: http://titsandsass.com/why-the-nycstripperstrike-is-so-relevant-and-so-long-overdue/

Thanks to Caty Simon and the folx over at Tits And Sass who edited and republished this story!

Why The #NYCStripperStrike Is So Relevant And So Long Overdue

by MF AKYNOS on NOVEMBER 13, 2017 · 2 COMMENTS

in RACE, STRIPPERS, THIS TIME, IT’S PERSONAL

A slightly different version of this piece was originally posted on Akynos’ blog, blackheaux, on November 8th

A personal history of being a Black stripper

It’s about fucking time! That’s all I can say about this stripper strike organizing.

I am excited to see more and more gentlemen’s club/exotic dancers taking this business seriously enough to take matters into their own hands. I think for far too long those of us in the adult entertainment industry have gotten engulfed in the socially acceptable invalidation of stripping as actual work, so that we’ve allowed ourselves to neglect so many of the labor violations, discrimination, and downright illegal actions by management, patrons, and staff that just couldn’t fly in other legal businesses.

I remember seeing dancers getting sexually and physically assaulted by patrons, while the bouncers employed because our naked bodies afforded them that job would do absolutely NOTHING. I recall one time a patron ejaculated on my ass as I gave him a standing lap dance at the bar. I went to the bouncer on duty at the time. He shrugged his shoulders and dismissed me.

The male staff who were employed by the club as stage managers or bouncers were also known to sexually violate us. Although they were employed by the same space we all occupied at the same damn time, they felt they were entitled to free feels and who knows what else from the dancers. If it was a nice day, they’d just insult you for even working in such a grimy industry.

Then there was the highway robbery in fees the club would charge the dancers who were coming in there to work—i.e., bring the establishment business. When I was in the game in the 90s, house fees were only just being implemented. They went from $5 to $20 in what seemed a matter of weeks.

Public perception often shapes law and policy, and vice versa. Without legal precedent or social acceptance we become prey to shoddy business practices.

I was 17 years old when I entered the clubs. I started with Al’s Mr. Wedge in the Bronx. It was the club I worked at exclusively then for a few reasons: Another club, The Goat, was closed by the time I got in the game. And besides, the legendary talk around this club sounded as if it was just too much for my bougie ass. For some reason, I just didn’t like Golden Lady, because its size and structure intimidated me.

And all my attempts at auditioning at clubs like Sue’s Rendezvous and whatever the name of the juice bar near Dyre Ave proved fruitless. I was too dark.

I recall once I went into Sue’s with a friend of mine, this mixed chic by the name of Jackie. Tall, light skinned, sorta looking like a young Mariah Carey, she was half White and Black. I went into Sue’s with her with the confidence that I would be allowed to dance in another club and increase my chances of making money. Young and naive, it didn’t dawn on me that when they told me Jackie could audition and I couldn’t it was the result of discrimination against my complexion.

Jackie ended up working at the high-end clubs in the city. Me and my Black ass had to keep it gutter and stay where they were not too picky.

I want people to stop being surprised that racism, colorism, and other biases against womxn (and Black people/or anyone with “dark” skin) exist. Determining who is worthy of making a living can be as superficial as how far from Whiteness they appear to be.

This shit is real.

Racism is real.

And colorism is also as fuckin real. The world is not existing in a post-racial/post-colorism mindset. It will never ever be like that. Now with racist humans writing code, even algorithms are becoming racially biased.

Wage Theft

According to this piece in Inked Magazine, the situation with how promoters and club owners treat the professional dancers has gotten worse. Our very own stripper queen Cardi B describes clubs where there are no discerning characteristics between bartenders and strippers. Outright wage theft, which also occurs in underground entertainment such as burlesque shows, is a big issue within the sex industry. (Remember, management illegally charges the workers money to enter their clubs and work, so outright wage theft happens on top of this more subtle wage theft.)

The image of sex work has been so debased by mainstream media and common folk, I can almost guarantee that every sex worker has had an encounter where someone tried to rob, swindle, or con her for her money. Emphasis on “her”, because I cannot fathom male entertainers enduring this continuous violation and assault on their chosen field of employment.

The bold-faced theft of dancers’ money by Instafamous models, faux bartenders, and even club promoters speaks to the dangers of stigmatizing sexual labor, and exposes some of the violence that occurs within this market when adult entertainers are speaking and no one wants to listen. This financial violence could be prevented if laws protected sex work, especially where it’s already legal.

Racial bias in other forms of sexual labor 

In the world of heauxing—I am talking about actually selling pussy or intercourse—discrimination based on race and complexion has been a part of the culture for far too long. As a Black sex worker who is “dark”—I am actually of medium complexion—I am not afforded the luxury of charging the same rates as White girls or even the womxn who are Black but light skinned.

Even womxn who are visibly unattractive are allowed to charge substantially higher rates than my fine ass, simply because they may be White. (In case you’re confused, by “unattractive” I mean just fuckin ugly and stank looking. You can GTFOH with your word policing, okay? I ain’t got the time.)

It is automatically assumed by clients that my rates are drastically lower than what I would actually charge a person for my time simply because I am a darker skinned Black. This is the racial coding of society, and why things like Blackface, as harmless as your shallow racist ass may think it is, are actually acts of violence. Racism has been instilled so deeply into our culture that mofos can’t fathom that I am not gonna entertain them for less than $250 per hour. Some potential clients have been shocked at my pricing. These are the same ones that wouldn’t bat an eye at the $500 plus dollars that a White provider would charge for lesser services.

I’ve also had many irritating as phuck conversations with cohorts of the Whiter kind about rates and what clients are willing to pay because of yes, my skin. They could not understand why my rate was so low. For a while I charged $150/hr, and it took a lot of time convincing myself and re-branding to raise them up from that, because I knew that interest would dwindle initially. And less interest could mean less money. Although I would try to tell these White people, who I know just wanted the best for me, that no matter how they see me that does not equate to what I can charge in the eyes of racist clients, they still believed that I could get more.

And by “more”, they meant starting at $400–$500/hour.

Cute.

In many group discussions I have to intervene when fellow darker skinned Black sisters feel that because they see one or two Black providers charging high rates that they can just start singing about how “this can be done!” No, bitch, it can’t.

For one, you have to lose a lot of money in order to take the time to build that brand and let it seep into the subconsciousness of the heaux clientele. So I hope you all have other jobs, because you’re gonna be fucked if you have rent to pay. In some cases it’s better to see 5 clients at $150 than it is to have 2 at $250.

And secondly, and most importantly, racism has affected us on a micro level. You have to have the self confidence of a Nigerian internet scammer to pull off this sort of shit. You literally have to beat it into your system that you are worth it. If you slip, and think that you will not get the amount you want, you have sent a message to the universe and it will fuck you. Believe that.

While I have the self-confidence of Nefertiti, at times it’s incredibly hard for me to get $250. And for this, I don’t even engage much in the labor. Men are fuckin annoying. And I am tired of meeting up with so many of you that don’t know that soap, water and a wash cloth can also be used to clean your ass. But that’s another conversation altogether.

Racism in mainstream media against Black sex workers

Just one example: In an episode of The Secret Diary Of A Call Girl, the mixed race Black hooker Bambi demanded that the madam upgrade her rates to that of Belle’s because she was fuckin tired.

Let’s keep in mind that I believe Belle stated that she charged “a lot.” If I recall correctly, “a lot” was only 200 to 350 or so pounds, which to me is average. So imagine what Bambi’s rates were.

Could you be a dark skinned stripper?

Racism is pervasive as fuck. It takes an enormous toll on the emotional, physical and psychological being of the people it affects. And as you can see reading what the women in the stripper strike describe, it’s financially debilitating.

So for those non-sex workers who’ve cackled the idea of strippers, or any sex workers for that matter, organizing for the right to take their clothes off, ask yourself: what is work? And after you’ve figure that out, ask yourself if you could stand up in six-inch heels all night, swinging from a pole in them while donning a skimpy outfit. Through an entire eight hour shift, could you talk to strange men with bad breath, fragile ass egos, and too much cologne, who are broke or cheap as fuck? Could you deal with management up your ass about stupid random shit, male entitlement, other womxn who aren’t designated to do your job stealing your money, and then having to battle stigma because we live in a repressed ass world whose entire population is rooted in sex but somehow always wants it to be hidden?

Could you do that and deal with racism and colorism on top of it?

My new lover is insisting that I should get back in the clubs because I look so good.

*Eye roll*

For one, my back has caught up with me after all my years of drop splitting.

On the second hand, those strippers work too damn hard. I’d rather suck dick all night.

On the third side, three things happened:

  1. Several years back, I was convinced by someone very close to me to go into a Bronx club and audition because money was slow and I needed it now. Sigh. Light-skinned privilege won’t even allow bitches to see the reality. When I got to the club, not only would they not even let me in, the woman at the door claimed they weren’t hiring. As she walked towards the person at the booth, you could see her mouthing and gesturing “No.” Humiliating. After I was rejected, I said I would pay to come in and have a drink. After all, I schlepped all the way there from Brooklyn. When I stepped inside, trust me, all the womxn were light-skinned. By the way—-yes, I called first.
  2. A couple years later I would call Sapphire’s here in New York, and straight up ask them if they hired Black girls. I just didn’t have the time to go all the way to the fuckin east side of Manhattan if I wasn’t going to get in. I told them my complexion and height. After confirming they hire everyone and they were indeed holding auditions daily, I put on a wig, a tight dress and some make up. I get to the door and the door man makes a fake inquiry only to tell me they have hired all the girls they need already. I left, humiliated.
  3. Cut to last year: a gal I met at a members-only club I dance at from time to time calls me to dance at a party. Keep in mind, I strip in theater-type shows, so I usually come ready to do theater shit. To my utter shock, it’s some all Black house party event with a young crowd of Black men. After trying my best to revert back to my booty shaking stripping ways, the party was finally over and I could take my shameful ass back home. So I wait on my $150 pay, which was the agreement. The girl who ran the party didn’t like me so much that she only wanted to pay me $50. If it wasn’t for another girl and her boyfriend that night demanding I get paid what was agreed, I would have never gotten that money.

Yes, we all think that when it comes to sex and sexuality that any woman can “just” make money. It’s not true. The darker, older, shorter, thicker you are, the more your rate and value are automatically diminished. It’s not because we don’t think we are worth it, it’s because with all the microaggressive and often times outright aggressive manipulations that are ingrained in our culture against Black people and especially darker Black people, we don’t get a choice in the matter.

#StandWithSexWorkers

While you may not like the idea of the stripper strike because you’re a classist, racist, misogynistic, sexually deprived asshole, stand with the strippers. #StandWithSexWorkers

Management is almost always made up of simple-minded people who miss out on the money they could earn if they would just have a variety of womxn working in their clubs. The “lower-end” strip clubs know what the deal is.  And I am sure they have no shortage of money by allowing different types of womxn to work their stages.

I salute the strippers spearheading this campaign. And I am sorry that they are now being blacklisted by promoters for taking a stand. If you want to help them, PayPal them some money. The hustle isn’t easy, but keep in mind it’s also a legal way for people to earn money to feed their families, pay bills, and keep a roof over their heads. The adult industry all around should be respected, and darker-skinned Black sex workers especially deserve that respect.

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My analysis on the Eros Guide raiding

I really hope Eros had a kill switch when the feds came in to raid a call center they contracted for “cross-border illegal activity.”

Any immigrants that were in the Eros files can potentially be phucked. As low hanging fruit, our lives, families and livelihoods are now at the mercy of Homeland Security and the other hypocritical organizations that want to stifle the agency of womxn. Yes, any fight against sex work is directly linked to the silencing of womxn’s bodies, our voices, and our right to financial independence free of patriarchal control. All immigrants are not illegal (ME. I am a US citizen), and the fact that this is happening, again, should jolt efforts to support the sex worker rights movement.

“And, from what I know, Eros has been compliant with gov’t officials regarding the SAVE ACT & all the other fucking trafficking ACTS that are flying out of the US! Here’s the latest one https://www.congress.gov/…/115th-congress/senate-bill/1693” -Cris Sardina, Director Desiree Alliance

So what does or could this mean for sex workers, and especially Black sex workers? It means an influx of heaux. And influx could mean that a lot of the higher priced girls may have to humble themselves and get a taste of what it feels like to be forced to charge less. It means that the one place that has been positioned in the community for high end providers has now been infiltrated. A space where providers, Black ones, could go and attempt to re-brand with higher rates and services has now been disrespected by moral authorities. And this is why you can’t trust the po-po. Eros, like BackPage, cooperated with these government agencies and still found themselves up shits creek on what seems like a fuckin technicality. Grand.

If I can just be brutally honest. I really wish the feds and all the like had the legal right to raid civilian homes based on their sexual preferences. Judging who you have sex with, how you do it and why. Confiscate your records, stop your money, and completely disrupting your life if they found out that you are with your partner for financial support. If that sounds ridiculous to you, then so should the feds raiding advertising sites that allow consenting adults to have sex.

The politics of beliefs are against the idea of sex-as-work, because sex work completely disrupts the traditional structures of intimacy. Although I believe it’s unlikely that any or much sex workers will be arrested, if you’ve ever posted on Eros you should panic, even just a little. They have all your legal documentation on file, ID’s, as well as credit card information. Right now just make sure you have a system of support prepared. Make sure you have a trusted source and give them a copy keys to your home, copies of your ID and information about any family they can be in touch with.

Civilian minds, please don’t derail the conversation with talk of human trafficking garbage. Trafficking organizations are an established network of fabricated, overused, sensationalized stories of some helpless girl getting dragged in a van by strange men, forced to have sex with dozens of men each day and it is absurd. I am not saying this doesn’t happen. But first of all, dozens of men flocking to pay for sex everyday would be marketing genius. Or the work of a cartoon style alternative hero who puts some kind of secret mind controlling code on the sex sites men visit which makes them just show up and pay to fuck all these hundreds of thousands of trafficked womxn daily. Gimme a fukin break. If I or any heaux for that matter could consistently get dozens of a dick a day I’d live in a mansion. Believe me, I have the energy to fuck dozens of a dick a day if such an option were presented to me.

Sex trafficking does happen and is a serious problem if even only one person has to suffer because they were forced to do things they didn’t consent to. But it is not worthy of entire businesses being shut down, raided, and the sex workers being labeled as victims and having their lives greatly affected. Millions of dollars do not need to go to building entire units to combat sex trafficking when the real numbers on who is “rescued” are laughable compared to the inflated ones the antis put out.

Trafficking is important in this conversation because it is always the excuse used to shut down these establishments. And this is particularly angering because Eros is probably the only site I know of where they have strict verification for advertisers in an attempt to curb any trafficking or underage sex worker activity that would go through their site. Yet they were still raided!

I have said it before and I will say it again: If you are okay with eating food that slaves are farming, and buying overpriced electronics and clothing made by people who aren’t making enough to feed their families, you seriously don’t get to talk.

Reminder for any excited about this new stab at the sex industry, cops can legally fuck a prostitute on your tax dollars then have the person arrested. Why that’s like a man having sex with a womxn, then calling her dirty afterwards. The people, particularly the men, that make up those in the armed forces, and other government jobs love to congregate with sex workers, they couldn’t survive without the sharing of sexual energy from the people that make up this industry. They like to fuck us, tip us in the clubs, and have fantasies of making us their wives. These government organizations are the same that are okay with the raping of womxn and children. They love turning a blind eye to the atrocities of sex crimes that take place within our everyday existence. And no, sex work is not to blame if a man rapes a young boy. Or if a womxn is raped coming home from her socially acceptable day job. Men and their entitlement, sexual suppression, and overall mental issues coupled with the laws that seek to govern womxn’s bodies are the problem.

Laura Augustin, author of “Sex At The Margins” and “Three-Headed Dog”, posed a question on Facebook once. It was something like: “Why is it something that is perfectly fine to give away for free, is not allowed to be sold?” And it should make you question the logic of the society you live in. I mean we live in a world where water is free to the land, but there are corporate conglomerates that can sell that shit to you for way too much money. But selling pussy is a problem? Government agencies can also fine you for catching rain water on your own property for crying out loud!

Oh my gawd I don’t have the space right now to dissect the misogynistic history behind these raids and the stupid laws that keep allowing shit like this to happen. Living breathing people are without work right now. This includes the very vulnerable population of people who worked for that call center. Call centers do not pay a lot of money to employees. Now potentially, if this raid influences any other sort of legal action based on shady anti-trafficking laws, those people who were engaging in a legal form of work could potentially face drastic consequences rooted in racism, classism and the criminalizing of the sex industry.

Although some of you reading may think ha ha, hoo hoo, this doesn’t affect you; just you wait. Infringing upon the rights of sex workers in this country is a vivid picture on the rights of yours that will be affected. Take a close look. This also has an effect on the economy, the continued housing crisis and the general well-being of the population. This is not some isolated event. Raiding businesses and deporting people who contribute to the flow of this economy is connected to your life as well.

More from Cris Sardina:  “When the SAVE ACT was first introduced, Eros was scared and rightly so. The feds required sites to mandate real names, real credit cards, and could confiscate 10 yrs back on their records without notice. Eros complied and for awhile there, their site looked like fucking Polaris!” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stop_Advertising_Victims_of_Exploitation_Act_of_2014

No lie, this is shitty and a really bad look for the sex worker rights movement. It’s also not a good look for me because I have posted on Eros. Too broke to ever post as an escort, I always opted for the legal route of BDSM services. I’d rather spank a man and ride him like a horse, yanno? There is something you all should know, you are not going to stop people from selling sex. If you can’t beat us, you need to just join us.

Sign on to our joint statement and help us get one step closer in raising awareness, spreading facts and changing these ridiculous laws that seek to violate the sexual freedom of everyone. Yes, this includes you. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nolvaK_PQEfrcnNlmj0J0s37RMtvHRGLQlrjKqwo3xk/edit

BH

 

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Dept of homeland security fux with sex workers AGAIN! Eros Guide Raided

People are screwed. Eros was a place where many sex workers advertise.

You don’t have to be doing a thing and the law will come down on you. Eros is probably the only site I know that asked for verification of identity of it’s providers. If they can get raided, then who can’t?

And of course this happened on election day. Jesus fuckin christ. Stop draining sex workers of ways to make money.

https://www.xbiz.com/news/231580/report-eros-guides-call-center-is-raided

YOUNGSVILLE, N.C. — Eros-Guide’s call center was raided today in a seizure that’s likely to keep going through the night, according to a report.

Industry attorney Joe Obenberger told XBIZ that “boxes of computers and records depicted on video are being hauled off.”

“One report says it’s part of an internationally synchronized raid, but I have no confirmation of that,” said Obenberger, who is not currently involved with Eros-Guide’s legal matters but identified the company that does business as Bolma Star Services Inc. “However, any way you slice it, it’s big.”

Eros-Guide operates numerous adult brands, including Eros.com, Eros Escorts, The Ultimate Guide to Eros Escorts and others.

ABC reported the raid at company offices in Youngsville, N.C., was conducted by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, which executed a warrant on alleged “cross-border illegal activity.”

The raid began at 10:30 a.m. (EST), when nearly a dozen black vehicles swarmed Bolma Star Services, which also includes a data center. By 6 p.m., several agents remained inside the business and said that they could be there well into the night.

ABC said that the search warrant is sealed in federal court and officials could not elaborate on the investigation. No one has been arrested or taken into custody.

XBIZ was unable to reach company officials for comment Tuesday evening.

The ABC report, which includes video, can be seen here.

 

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The stripper strike is so relevant and so long overdue!

IMG_20171103_174417_072

Edited to 11:24pm 11/8/17 to include more information, because this is also school work.

A person history of being a stripper

It’s about fucking time! That’s all I can say about this stripper strike. I am excited to see more and more gentlemen club (exotic) dancers taking this business seriously enough to take matters into their own hands. I think for far too long those of us in the adult entertainment industry have gotten engulfed in the socially acceptable degrading of stripping as actual work, that we’ve allowed ourselves to neglect so much of the labor violations, discrimination and downright illegal actions by management, patrons and staff, that just couldn’t fly in other legal forms of business. From the dancers getting sexually and physically assaulted by patrons, where the bouncers employed because our naked bodies afford them that job, would do absolutely NOTHING. I recall one time a patron ejaculated on my ass as I gave him a standing lap dance at the bar. I went to the bouncer on duty at the time. He shrugged his shoulders and dismissed me.

The male staff who were employed by the club as stage managers or bouncers, were also known to sexually violate us. Although they were employed by the same space we all occupied at the same damn time, they felt they were entitled to free feels and who knows what else from the dancers. If it was a nice day, they’d just insult you for even working in such a grimey industry.

Then there’s the highway robbery in fees the club would charge the dancers who were coming in there to work, i.e. bring the establishment business. When I was in the game in the 90s, house fees were only just being implemented. It went from $5 to $20 in what seemed a matter of weeks. That was partially because The Wedge was such a hot spot, and they only charged those fees to girls who were not on the schedule, or to newer girls who needed to earn their cred.

The neglect is not totally our fault. Public perception often shapes law and policy, and vice versa. Without legal precedent, or social acceptance, we become prey to shoddy business practices. I was 17 years old when I entered the clubs. I started with Al’s Mr. Wedge in the Bronx. It was the club I worked at exclusively then for a few reasons: Another club, “The Goat” was closed by the time I got in the game. The legendary talk around this club sounded as if it was just too much for my bougie ass. For some reason I just didn’t like Golden Lady because it’s size and structure intimidated me. And all my attempts at clubs like Sue’s Rendezvous and whatever was the name of the juice bar near Dyre Ave proved fruitless, I was too dark. I recall once I went into Sue’s with a friend of mine, this mixed chic by the name of Jackie. Tall, light skinned, sorta looked like a young Mariah Carey, she was half White and Black. I went into Sue’s with her with the confidence that I would be allowed to dance in another club and increase my chances of making money. Young and naive, it didn’t dawn on me that when they told me Jackie could audition and I couldn’t, it was as the result of discrimination against my complexion. Jackie worked at the high end clubs in the city. Me and my Black ass had to keep it gutter and stay where they were not too picky.

Racism and technology

I want people to stop being surprised that racism, colorism and other biases against womyn (and Black people/or anyone with “dark” skin) exists. Determining who is worthy of making a living can be as superficial as how far from Whiteness they appear to be.

This shit is real.

Racism is real.

And colorism is also as fuckin real. The world is not existing in a post-racial/colorism mindset. It will never ever be like that. And with racists humans writing code, even algorithms are becoming racially biased. Here is another link to a piece on racist AI just for good measure: https://www.theguardian.com/inequality/2017/aug/08/rise-of-the-racist-robots-how-ai-is-learning-all-our-worst-impulses

Wage Theft

According to this piece in Inked Magazine, the situation with how promoters and club owners treat the professional dancers has gotten worse. Our very own stripper queen Cardi B, tells tales of no discerning characteristics from dancers and strippers. To outright wage theft, (which also finds itself in underground entertainment such as burlesque shows) is a big issue within the sex industry. (Remember management illegally charges the workers money to enter their place and work.) The imagery of sex work has been so debased by mainstream media and common folk, I can almost guarantee that every sex worker has had an encounter where someone tried to rob, swindle, or con her for her money. Emphasis on her because I cannot fathom male entertainers enduring this continuous violation and assault on their chosen field of employment.

Without getting too deep into here, (I can create an entire other post on this); the bold faced theft of the dancers money by Instafamous models, faux bartenders, and even club promoters speaks to the dangers of stigmatizing sexual labor, and exposes some of the violence that occurs within this market when adult entertainers are speaking and no-one wants to listen. This financial violence could be prevented if laws protected sex work, especially where it’s already legal.

Racial bias in other forms of sexual labor

In the world of heauxing, (I am talking about actually selling pussy or intercourse) the discrimination with race and complexion has been a part of this culture for far too long . As a Black sex worker who is “dark,” (I am actually medium complexion); I am not afforded the luxury of charging the same rates as White girls or even the womxn who are Black but light skinned. (Even those womxn who are visibly unattractive, are allowed to charge substantially higher rates than my fine ass, simply because she may be White. (In case you’re confused, by unattractive I mean just fuckin ugly and stank looking. You can GTFOH with your word policing okay? I ain’t got the time).

It is automatically assumed by clients that my rates are drastically lower than what I would charge to a person for my time simply because I am a darker skinned Black. This is the racial coding of society, and why things such as Blackface, as harmless as your shallow racist ass may think it is, is actually an act of violence. Racism has been instilled so much into our culture that mofos can’t fathom that I am not gonna entertain them for less than $250 per hour. Some potential clients have been shocked at my pricing. These are the same ones that wouldn’t bat an eye at the $500 plus dollars that a White provider would charge for lesser services. I’ve had many irritating as phuck conversations with cohorts of the Whiter kind about rates and what clients are willing to pay because of yes, my skin. They could not understand why my rate was so low. For a while I charged $150/hr and it took a lot of time, convincing myself and re-branding to raise them up from that, because I knew that interest would dwindle. And less interest could mean less money. Although I would try to tell these people, who just wanted the best for me, I know,  that no matter how they see me does not equate to what I can charge in the eyes of racist clients, they still believed that I could get more. And by more they meant starting at $400 – $500/hr.

Cute.

In many group discussions I have to intervene when fellow darker skinned Black sisters who feel that because they see one or two Black providers charging high rates, that they can just start singing about how “this can be done!” No bitch it can’t.

For one, you have to lose a lot of money in order to take the time to build that brand and let it seep into the subconsciousness of the heaux clientele. So I hope we all have other jobs, because you’re gonna be fucked if you have rent to pay. In some cases it’s better to see 5 clients at $150, than it is to have 2 at $250. And secondly, and most importantly, racism has affected us on a micro level. You have to have the self confidence of an Indian man hitting on American women in their FB inboxes to pull off this sort of shit. You literally have to beat it into your system that you are worth it. If you slip, and think that you will not get the amount you want, you have sent a message to the universe and it will fuck you. Believe that.

While I have the self confidence of Nefertiti, At times it’s incredibly hard for me to get $250. And for this, I don’t even engage much in the labor. Men are fuckin annoying. And I am tired of meeting up with so many of you that don’t know that soap, water and a wash cloth can also be used to clean your ass. (But that is for another conversation altogether).

Racism in mainstream media

In an episode of “The Secret Diary Of A Call Girl,” the mixed race Black hooker Bambi started to demand that the madame upgrade her rates to that of Belle’s because she was fuckin tired. Let’s keep in mind, [I believe] Belle stated that she charged “alot.” If I recall correctly it was only 200 or so pounds, which to me is average. So imagine what Bambi’s rates were.

Can you be a stripper?

Racism is pervasive as fuck. It takes an enormous toll on the emotional, physical and psychological being of the people it affects. And as you can see with the stripper strike, it’s financially debilitating. So if you’ve cackled at the idea of strippers organizing (or any sex worker for that matter) for the right to take their clothes off, ask yourself: what is work? And after you’ve figure that out, ask yourself if you could stand up in 6 inch heels all night, swing from a pole in them in them while donning a skimpy outfit. Talk to strange men through an entire 8 hour shift with bad breath, fragile ass egos, too much cologne, broke or cheap as fuck; deal with management up your ass about stupid random shit, male entitlement, other womxn who aren’t designated to do your job stealing your money, and then having to battle stigma because we live in a suppressed ass world whose entire population is rooted in sex but somehow always wants it to be hidden.

My new lover is insisting that I should get back in the clubs because I look so good.

*Eye roll*

For one, my back from all my years of drop splitting has caught up with me.

On the second hand those strippers work too damn hard, I’d rather suck dick all night. On the third side three things happened:

  1. Several years back I was convinced by someone very close to me to go into a Bronx club and audition because money was slow and I needed it now.  Sigh. Light-skinned privilege won’t even allow bitches to see the reality. When I got to the club, not only would they not even let me in; the womxn at the door claimed they weren’t hiring. As she walked towards the person at the booth, you could see her mouthing and gesturing “No.” –Humiliating.– Then they began to speak in their native Spanish tongue; and this is all happening after I was rejected, I said I would pay to come in and have a drink. After-all I schlepped all the way there from Brooklyn.  When I stepped inside, trust me, all the womxn were light-skinned. By the way, yes. I called first.
  2. A couple years later I would call Sapphire’s here in New York, and straight up ask them if they hired Black girls. I just didn’t have the time to go all the way to the fuckin east side of Manhattan if I wasn’t going to get in. I told them my complexion and height. After confirming they hire everyone and they were indeed holding auditions daily, I put on a wig, a tight dress and some make up. I get to the door and the door man makes a fake inquiry only to tell me they have hired all the girls they need already. I left, humiliated.
  3. Cut to last year, a gal I met at a members only club I dance at from time-to-time calls me to dance at a party. Keep in mind I strip in theater type shows, so I usually come ready to do theater shit. To my utter shock it’s some all Black house party event with a young crowd of Black men. After trying my best to revert back to my booty shaking stripping ways, the party was finally over and I could take my shameful ass back home. So I wait on my $150 pay which was the agreement. The girl who ran the party didn’t like me so much that she wanted to pay me $50. If it wasn’t for another girl and her boyfriend that night demanding I get paid what was agreed, I would have never gotten that money.

Yes, we all think that when it comes to sex and sexuality that any woman can “just” make money. It’s not true. The darker, older, shorter, thicker you are means that your rate and value is automatically diminished. It’s not because we don’t think we are worth it, it’s because with all the microaggressive and often times aggressive manipulations that are ingrained in our culture against Black people and that of darker Black people, we don’t get a choice in the matter.

#StandWithSexWorkers

While you may not like the idea of the stripper strike, because you’re a classist, misogynistic, sexually deprived asshole, stand with the strippers. #StandWithSexWorkers

Management is always made up of simple-minded people who miss out on the money they could earn if they would just have a variety of womxn working in their clubs. The “lower-end” strip clubs know what the deal is. And I am sure they have no shortage of money by allowing different types of womxn to work their stages.

I salute the strippers spearheading this campaign. And I am sorry that they are now being blacklisted by promoters for taking a stand. If you want to help them, PayPal them some money. The hustle isn’t easy, but keep in mind it’s also a legal way for people to earn money to feed their families, pay bills and keep a roof over their heads. If male strippers don’t bother you, neither should the womxn strippers. The adult industry all around should be respected, because we are not just rolling out of bed and doing any of things that fall under the sex work umbrella.

BH

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Men

In an expected twist, because duh! Men will be men. A man who refuses to get a vasectomy, but preaches that women should be forced to give birth; ejaculates in woman, then conveniently finds that abortion is useful for his own personal agenda.

There is literally nothing more i can say about this. It would be unreal if it wasn’t real. http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2017/10/03/this_pro_life_congressman_was_caught_telling_his_extramarital_boo_to_get.html

BH

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Current shit stain administration passes bill for forced parenting

Oh look. Unborn potential humans are once again more important than live ones. In a sneaky stunt, the current shit stain administration let healthcare for living breathing children lapse, while giving the unborn the right to be born without the possibility of having healthcare. Grand. Good job Amerikkka. This culture of life we’re building is going to be filled with a lot of ill or dead humans cause they didn’t have the option to see a doctor.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/abortion-20-weeks-republicans-chip_us_59d3a3e6e4b048a4432552d4

BH

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Mo’

Niggahz swear that if they wear nice shoes and have slung in over a dozen pussies in their lifetimes, that they are the shit. When will men quit it with the short comings? I swear it seems as if all men have going for themselves is their dick.  And half of them don’t even know how to sling their dick properly. But they want to be chased, forgiven for some fucked up shit they said or done, and never give but always receive whenever they feel they deserve it.

I have said it before and I will say it again. I charge men to treat me like a Whore. I will be damned if I stand by and let some shabby mfka who can barely provide the place to fuck me, or could even follow through on a simple promise trreat me less than that. The free rides are over.

Pussy is earned. It is not your right.

With all that said and done, I went to Afropunk for the first time today. The Black beauty that I was surrounded by was astonishing. The Black men there were of some sort of erotic/exotic beauty like I have never seen. Just fuckin beautiful. In the back of my mind I wondered which one of them was out there giving some poor woman problems.

Boys are mean.

I mean, it’s baffling to me really. When men behave as if women’s pussies aren’t the magical portal to another universe that they NEED in order to function in this world. Like our pussies aren’t god’s fuckin literal gift that bought them in this world and helps them sustain. Like, our pussies, the all encompassing vagina, isn’t what makes them feel more like a man. They brag about gettting pussy to their friends. They feel like they’ve taken something from you when they get it without even trying. And they even try to force their dicks in our magical holes in order to take power away from us. So all the men of the world could kindly fuck off and recognize that the pussy is their life force. Bow down bitches. Without it there would be no you.

And even with all the knowledge of how magical and neeed the pussy is, men will still do everything and anything, subconsciously I suppose, to never get the pussy again. It’s amazing really. They talk their way out of pussy sending off some of the most vibrant non-verbal cues that makes my shit dry up like a dessert. then they, somewhere down the line, they want to know why. Why bitch? Like really?

All I am gonna say to that is y’all legitimately have to do better. Think better. Think progressively. Think selflessly. Be conscious. Cognitive. Be serious. Be thoughtful. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your basic needs. It doesn’t not cater to your unconscious misogyny. And that fuckin dissonance which shows in every morsel of your thoughtless actions. The world and the women around you are progessing and y’all stay lacking. And that shit is…tired. Aren’t you mfkaz bored already?

I am not, (and no woman of any virtue should), go out of her way to convince a man that she is worthy of trying for. Why? With the effort never comes a reward. And it’s easy to see because y’all are never half shit. Y’all make zero effort to even be a person of your word and you want the graces of what’s between our legs? AND all our energy around it?

I am rambling.

He asked me one day, “do you like men?” And I was greatlly offended because to me, it was evident that I love men. But man I am tired of y’all lazy shit.

BH

 

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